Fusillade, Episode 5: Better Late Than Never

You’re behind the barrel on two fronts. The good news is that they’re easily correctable. One, you go to UNL, and two, you’re a broadcasting major. I’ll fill in the details….

I have a cousin who was a broadcasting major. Voice like Scully, hair like Sajek. Impeccable young man, he was. He grew up taking a recorder and doing his own broadcasts to sporting events on TV. He was determined to make his dreams come true. He went to school to take these steps towards his life goals. The kid latched on to the local amateur baseball team and he spent four summers getting the practice and resume-stuffing needed to make it in the business. After attending a conference, he connected with the right people and got himself a gig! A real job talking sports on the radio!

Then…tragedy struck! The team he worked for laid the entire staff off because they were facing bankruptcy. He was jobless. He was far from his small hometown, far from the familiar faces he could always turn to for advice. His girlfriend left him (because talking nice with a non-regional dialect doesn’t pay for a nice dinner out) and he was facing eviction from his basement apartment. Archie Griffin once said “In the face of adversity, you find out if you’re a fighter or a quitter. It’s all about getting up after you’ve been knocked down.”

So instead of being homeless, he started providing dudes sexual favors in discreet alleyways for cash, before becoming an ad salesperson. I guess what I’m saying is, well, I’m not sure.