Would Saturday just hurry the hell up and get here already?

I don't know where to begin regarding my thoughts on the international schedule. Just as players start to get in a groove and new signings begin to feel comfortable in their new surroundings, suddenly they're whisked away to play in middling World Cup qualifiers (or, even worse, friendlies) and risk completely screwing over their club - all for the sake of saying they got to play during the eight-goal thrashing against Moldova. Fun. As a result, I'm left sitting here contemplating such things like:

"What if what I perceive to be the color green - or any color, for that matter - isn't the same color to someone else?", and:

"How high could I jump today, with my advanced development in leg muscles, if I still had my Reebok Shaq Pump basketball shoes that I had when I was in 6th grade?", or:

"Who would win in a chicken wing eating contest: a woodchuck or an otter?"

As you can see, this has been trying times, friends. But fear not, actual Arsenal matches are just around the bend! It's starting to feel more and more like a matchweek to me, however if you're still trying to fight off the Interlull demons, here are some Arsenal-related tidbits to help kill that bastard off.

• Theo Walcott has been infected with foreign bodies. Signourney Weaver sent him an empathic message of support in these trying times for him.
• Diaby got Diaby'ed.
• Arsene Wenger says "Of course Giroud is part of the long-term plans for Arsenal, you silly! Wait, you mean Djourou? Yeah, sure, him too."
  
• The club awarded their first Player of the Month award to Santi Cazorla, somehow upsetting the heavily-favored and award show-veteran Lionel Messi. He also goes on to say that settling in England is much easier knowing you're getting paid by your employers as promised.
• Carl Jenkinson talks.
• So does Djourou. Damnit, I meant Giroud.
• Last, here's a Tottenham supporter attempting to justify his opinion that Arsene Wenger is better served away from the bench. Because, of course (duh!), he hasn't won any trophies in seven years (I know, right?) and gosh, he keeps losing good players (totally!).